I do my best to seek the light... be in truth, transparent, and filled with compassion as often as I can. I do this so much so that I neglect and ignore the darkness. I forget it's there, and when it shows up, I'm surprised! When I perceive it on the attack, I tense.
A while back, I was banned off facebook for 3 days for this image (without the censors):
This is what happens to me. When I choose to ignore the other side of sexuality, it hits me. It reminds me not to forget that out in the world, people will pervert and distort sexuality... they'll fear it, and if they see it in me or around me, they'll fear me. They'll do whatever they can to bring me down.
This time I was stopped for three days on one social media site. Not a huge deal in the larger scheme of things, and it's made me think.
I pull some Zen cards for myself when in the wave of emotions around this, and when I asked what I feared, this is what came up:
It makes so much sense... I AM afraid of the darkside of my work. And by being afraid, I give it more power. This I knew, but what I was not realizing is that if I choose to move forward, I will be confronted with both sides. It's just part of the game I'm playing called life. The deeper I choose to go with LIFE the more DARK will want to present itself.
What's my response?
I am the adult here. I treat it as a child who's lost and afraid. One that is so fearful of the power of sexuality, and I am here to welcome it home and shed my light on it. No need to fear the dark or dismiss its existence.
When it shows up, I welcome it. Yes... I've been expecting you. You are never too far away from me. HELLO! Thank you for showing up & showing me that you, too, need attention.
The Darkness with its fear, shame, guilt, punishment, and rejection is not the enemy. Come inside and have some tea. Let's unpack what's here. Show me what you need to show me. Thank you for your gift.
Integration, yes. Thank you.