I listened intently as the person on the other side of the line shared with me about the disgust, blame, and destruction their sex life was having on others (particularly the person with whom they had been talking.)
What was absolutely clear to me was that this sex shaming was all about control. We try to shame others to get them to do what we want them to do.
And when all the punches are pulled, they move from "what you're doing to our image, our lives, us" to "what you're doing to God" ... and maybe even your heaven card is pulled, too.
All bullshit and all an attempt to make them less uncomfortable with you. All an attempt at getting you to live a life by which they'd approve. All an attempt to not reveal what's really true about them.
See shaming for what it is... CONTROL.
And then ask yourself, are you ok with being in a relationship that's based on them controlling you? Is what you get out of the relationship worth losing a part of who you are?
All of this are important questions to channel through with friends/family/therapist that you trust. If you're looking for someone outside of that world, I'm here, too. Let me know how I can listen and support you!
Sex is awesome. Sex is a great way to connect with another being. Sex is healing. Sex just feels good. (And I would fail you if I didn't say that sex can also be used as a weapon. That's for another blog post!)
Best of YOU to make your life what you want it to be!