HARO Submission: Ways to Feel More Comfortable Asking For What You Want In Life. 

 

Summary: Ways to Feel More Comfortable Asking For What You Want In Life. 

Query: 

Looking for life coaches and psychologists to hone in on how to
ask for what you want in different areas of your life--at work,
in relationships, in bed, even in places like elevators, the
supermarket, the auto repair shop, and the gym (asking people to
move over a little or when they'll be done with the
treadmill...). Aiming for a mix of practical tips and deep,
psychology-based advice (like re-framing something to show
yourself that it's not actually selfish, or it's not
unreasonable...)

I am Certified Cuddling Professional with Cuddlist.com. Our model of providing therapeutic, platonic touch requires for each client to ask for what they want. Most clients have never been asked, what kind of touch would you like, and many more have no idea what they want in touch or in life! 

My sessions with clients is their practice ground in doing this incredibly important work of "asking" because often people resort to "taking" from others or "giving" to others in spite of themselves. This is about finding your personal agency, or capacity, to exercise what is true: your needs and wants are valid and worthy of my attention and consideration

So, this is where it must begin. Many people do not believe that they are worthy of what they want. Their needs and wants do not matter, and for that reason, they don't ask their loved ones for them. Until a client is able to own this truth that their needs are valid and important, I do that heavy lifting for them. I reflect back to them in unconditional acceptance and love that who they are and what they ask for is perfect. They gain confidence, and as soon as after the first session, they can start embodying this truth... it begins to spill over into all parts of their life. 

Find a safe person to practice asking for what you want. Someone who is without judgment and will allow you to play with asking for anything! Feel the energy of being honest and forthright. Know that your requests are neither right nor wrong. They simply are. And begin! "You have not because you ask not." Wiser words have not been spoken. 

HARO Submission: Things to Ask Yourself Before Starting an Affair

Summary: Things To Ask Yourself Before Starting An Affair

Media Outlet: Women's Health
Affairs have a rep for being based on lots of feeling and hardly
any thinking, so I'm trying in this piece to explore what you
should consider before having an affair by talking to a
relationship expert (with a Ph.D.). Maybe it's questions like,
what would my partner do if they found out, do I want to be with
this person just right now, or indefinitely, etc. For each
question, I'd like to have the expert explain why this is
something you need to consider before starting a side fling.

 

JANET'S RESPONSE:

I see clients on a regular basis that are married. I provide platonic and nurturing touch to all people. Often people that are married, especially for the long-term, have unmet needs that an extramarital affair could address except they come with more baggage than is desired or expected.

So enter in from stage left, Cuddlist. Some people experience love via touch. Touch is the way that they know they are loved and love others. If touch needs aren’t being met in a relationship, quite often touch, usually in the form of sex, is sought out via an extramarital affair. This is no longer necessary. Touch needs can be platonic and be met with certified professionals that provide the love and nurture that is essential for health and wholeness. 

Consider before having an affair if what you need can be provided via loving touch professionals. We are people that truly do care and that can meet your touch needs in a safe and brave space. 

And as an added benefit, the Cuddlist model of touch requires that all clients ask for what they want. So, one of the reasons that people seek affairs is because they don’t know how to ask for what they want out of their marriages. Building on this skill of asking & believing that our wants are valid allows for people to do this within their marriage. Sometimes it’s about getting honest & real in our relationships.